When I reflect on the biggest mistakes I have made in my life, it never fails that in some way I was not true to myself.
When I reflect on the times when I was not deeply happy, it was when I was not being true to myself, in some way I was living out of expectation, obligation, and a need to please.
When I reflect and there was chaos in my relationships, it never fails that in some way I did not speak up for what I truly felt or what I truly believed in. In some way, I tried to be someone who I was not. In some way, I was scared that if I really said what was on my heart, I’d lose love. Or, I’d come up short. My deepest fear would be made real: I am not worthy.
Or perhaps an even deeper fear: that I am truly powerful beyond measure.
What if we really did matter to this Universe? What if we had more power and potential than we could imagine?
Recently I met with a potential client who talked about pain in his knees and concerns about his weight. When I asked him why he thought he had the pain, he said his pain was due to the stress of being in a “corporate job”. As he talked to me his energy field became cloudy and brown, a sign that someone is being dishonest with themselves or with me. I asked him how he coped with the stress. He stated that he checked out and ate. That will create pain for anyone. That is one way we can lie to ourselves.
When I talked to him about breaking the bonds of enslavement and ending a game of playing small, when we explored what it would be like to act from real self-love, his energy field became a light yellow color, meaning he could now tap into new clarity and energy to make a change. The crown of his head had a purplish light, meaning that he could now be open to receive the Grace that is always whispering in our ears.
When we are fully our authentic selves, we transmute the energetic and psychological weight that seems to hold us back.
No wonder his knees hurt. No wonder he couldn’t lose the weight. I am not discounting diet and exercise, but I know that if people don’t upgrade energy and change their story that stuff never works sustainably. I have seen it so many times – rewire crappy belief systems and come into alignment and clarity with the energy of Innate Wisdom, and miracles happen.
When you are not yourself, you hurt yourself. Being yourself is probably the best medicine you could take. The energy field around you, which is created by who you are BEING and what your are CHOOSING each moment, has a massive effect on genetic expression and true health of mind and body.
Paradoxically, who we are being each moment then contributes to the energy around us and in the world. Bruce Lipton, PHD, has stated that your genetic expression is impacted more by the energy field around a person than anything else. How we think, how we feel, how we act, how we love, and what we believe really matters.
When people are on their deathbeds, no one wants to have been more placating. No one wishes they had been a better people pleaser, or a more effective perfectionist. No one wishes they played someone else’s game better. Nobody, about to take their last breath, wishes they had stayed in a job they hated. Nobody looks back and says, “Oh wow, thank God I worried so much.”
In the end, people value relationships, passion, love, and having lived a true life. They value the legacy of love they have given and that they truly mattered, even if only to a child, or a garden. I don’t think everyone is called to do extraordinary things, 100% sure of their life purpose. I DO feel in my bones that we are called to do all things with extraordinary love. Lighten up. Love up. Live up. Enlighten others with your true-ness and you will fel so much more light in your life.
Please, don’t think being an angel is always being sweet and nice either. Its good to have boundaries, and its good to know how to be with and healthily express anger. Its good to use our voice, its healthy to speak our truth. Being overly nice is so 1992.
I got a letter today about a woman I worked with on an International retreat. I only had a few interactions with her, and each one was super challenging as I felt called to keep calling her out on her incongruence. It was so hard. I love people so much, that is not easy for me. Yet, I did it. I saw her as she was, and I could also se her so much better than she was. I could see that soul, hidden just beyond a veil of “self”.
Love will take whatever form it needs to to get the job done. The letter revealed that although our encounters had been really hard for her, it changed her whole life for the better. The changes were still playing out a year later.
My capacity to be an intuitive and healing vessel to others depends 100% on my own self-esteem, self-love, and authenticity. When I am tired, fake, inauthentic, and self-absorbed, I close the channel. I like feeling really good. I love sleeping well. I love Union with God and with all of Life. I had to learn, when the stakes got really high, that I could no longer trade myself for another. Ever.
Its OK to disappoint people when your journey calls you to be true. We never know what lessons we are all meant to learn and why the dynamics of relationships sometimes change. Carolyn Myss says, “being rejected is often protection.”
When our questions are: “How can I contribute to the energy around me? How can I totally be myself and bring joy? How can I amplify love in the field of energy around me?” gateway after gateway of possibility to serve, love and grow will show up. We’ll be so busy loving our life and other people that the bulls*&( stops mattering.
When you bring deep and amazing “value”, with an impeccable ethic and true-ness to every person you ever meet, your needs will always be taken care of, and then some.
I was coaching a man who receives Network Care in my office the other day. He was sharing with me how many rejections he had been experiencing with women. He said that dating in Charlotte is hard. I told him that was a BS story. I hear that often. “Dating is hard in such and such a place. People are so _______.” The pain is never in the circumstance.
I asked him who he was being on his dates. He said he was tense, anxious, and trying to say the right things. I informed that this is decidedly NOT sexy or attractive. I asked him what it would be like if he didn’t care if he was rejected or accepted, only that he had loved and been true. When we ARE love, do we really care? No. We don’t. But, to know that as truth you have to live it long enough to believe and KNOW its who you ARE.
I asked him what it would be like to just bring so much joy, love, and happiness to the other person. I asked what it would be like to be so at-ease with himself that truth and love eased out of every pore. That TRUE confidence is extremely attractive. You don’t need some shady dating coach to tell you that.
Get off Tinder, and all the other sleazy “dating” sites, and start contributing to the energy around you. Everything can and will change.
As my friend Nani Lea Diamond recently said on Facebook in regard to her husband doing amazing charity work, “Giving and Contribution is sexy.”
Be Yourself + Give 100% to everything you do + Love beyond reason + Upgrade and Focus your Mind + Surrender + Laughter + Toss perfectionism in a burning can = YOU CAN ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING +YOU ARE BOUND TO BE HAPPY. You can heal, you can get better, you can live. You can rise.
I love Brene Brown. She rocks. Here is one of my favorite videos of all time about vulnerability and authenticity: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o
I’ll close out with some deep tracks: Howard Thurman rocked it by saying: “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
All my love,
Dr. Matt Lyon
PS – Our 12 Stages Tele calls have been really wonderful. JOIN US. Call the office to get on the list and get on it. This is open to anyone, everywhere.
PPS – I am back in the saddle doing some coaching work. I am very selective with who I take under my wing, but it is open to application. If you would like to me to personally mentor you, and be your maven and muse, you can reach out to me directly at firstname.lastname@example.org.
PPPS – cool stuff happening….rumor has it a Charlotte clear day is brewing and date will be announced soon…….gonna be OF THE HOOK!!!!!!