We just had a phenomenal and life-changing few days here at NWCC as John Osbourne and Andrew Keaveny, teachers from the Art of Living Organization came to teach some of our practice members the ancient practice of Sudarshan Kirya. What was equally awesome was how they translated ancient wisdom into real, scaleable, and practical advice for living a great life, healing our deepest, hurts, and experiencing real happiness.
One of their core teachings was that acceptance of others is primary and that seeing negative, personal intent in others’ mistakes is a toxic poison. And we all do it a lot of the time. Especially with the people we love the most. It holds us back, and we get stuck in serious loops that can go on for years, decades.
Holding resentment, anger, rage, judgement, and non-acceptance towards others holds us back. Its like we have a rat problem in our house, and we drink the strychnine. How we deal with hurt, disappointment, and trauma rarely works.
Ochum’s razor lets us know that the simplest answer is most likely the right one. Acceptance, forgiveness, living in the present and MOVING on towards a beautiful future are simple. And they heal. Every time. All the greats have shared this. Its a life path to live it.
I know, that sounds ridiculously simplistic. And yet, our judgements and condemnation of others takes up a HUGE amount of real estate in our minds, sucks our energy, and makes us TENSE. We thus live with Pre-Tense. We become inauthentic not because we are fake people, but because we get hurt and scared and feel we have to protect. We have to be someone else to be loved, to be safe, to protect from another hurt. Its exhausting. the gap between who we TRULY are and how we are living is the invisible metric that creates pain and suffering.
I am pretty convinced that 95% of pain and illness is the result of TENSION. We all get hurt, and human relationships are complex. Humans are complicated. And yet, Love is simple. Its the answer. Love heals all. Trite phrases like, “love heals all” don’t fix the pain but they point us towards the answer and towards the work that needs to be done.
The work is in freeing our minds. “Free yourselves from mental slavery, none but yourselves can free up your mind.” ~ Bob Marley.
Freeing our minds is the natural result when we find our who we are – not as a concept, but as a reality. We have to find that place inside of us where we are alive, at peace, real, connected, happy, and indestructible. There are few people and places and things in our modern world that encourage this or teach this. Most of us wander alone, looking for answers in so many places. Quietly desperate. We think we are unique.
We are not.
When we forgive, when we accept people for who they are, as they are, we are the ones that get free. It opens the prison door. The other people don’t need to change anything.
John Osbourne, a master teacher, shared a beautiful metaphor that set me free with this. He asked a person in our group how they would feel if they found drugs in their son’s sock drawer. He said that in that moment, if we could find deep acceptance and love for our child, it would give birth to right action. In this case, radical acceptance doesn’t exclude stern discipline, clear boundaries, and tough conversations. It just means we are responding and not reacting. We are infused with compassion and can act from that.
There are some people that are simply not well or highly toxic. Deep acceptance doesn’t mean we have them over for dinner, talk to them on the phone, or spend holidays together. It means we accept them for who they are with the skills, wounds, limits, and tools they have. May may even develop empathy and understanding. Our hearts open. Tension dissolves.
Happy bubbles to the foreground of our life.
I am a walking example that this is the case even in the face of terrible trauma. I am no saint and not perfect, BUT I know I deserve to be happy and no amount of trying to make the past better brings peace. We acknowledge the hurt, we become aware of the experience in our lives. And we move on to acceptance. Freedom. Then we MOVE ON.
The opposite of the word EVIL is LIVE. The healing comes when the fertilizer of our trauma takes its proper place in our perspective. Then we can move on. We may never forget, but we can be free. We can forgive. Sweet release.
Accept others as they are. Watch your self and find out when you are not doing this.
Begin to note when we see intention behind others mistakes. When we personalize others’ stress or unresolved trauma. Sure, deal with what needs to be dealt with, but when we are not hung up personalizing everything struggle and tough stuff washes off us like water off a ducks back. Its like being a tai-chi master with your relationships.
Our next SKY Meditation Course is August 12-15 (appx 3 hours per day). Its an amazing experience. Let us know if you are interested.
Also, I am back to doing coaching work and I love working with people to help them turn their lives around. Its never been easier or simpler, with no big contracts or commitments. If something is holding you back and you want to find fresh energy, let us know: http://www.networkwellnesscharlotte.com/personal-coaching/
In the meanwhile, here is a wonderful video that my daughter and I love. LOVE THIS. Random video from a Thai insurance company. Its awesome.
Dr. Matt Lyon