What an incredible month this has been for Lynn and I. We have our baby coming in December and we are beside ourselves with enthusiastic readiness and gratitude. During this process, I noticed that men don’t really have much in the way of a “Rite of Passage” in our culture to prepare them for fatherhood. So, I decided to create my own rituals to usher in powerful fatherhood energy for my family and myself. Hint – if you want something, and you don’t see it, CREATE IT YOURSELF.
First ritual: I decided to spend a long weekend with one of my greatest mentors, Donny Epstein, the developer of Network Spinal Analysis and Somato Respiratory Integration. Here is a guy who has completely defied the odds again and again and again in so many ways. He has stepped up again and again with massive energy, incredible creativity, and a vast vision. Not only do I think his work is simply unmatched in its abilty to create true healing and help people to make massive breakthroughs in ways never before possible, as a person Donny is an incredible model of what it is like to live with OUTSTANDING standards. He blows excellent out of the water. That is who I like to spend my time with. I got the gift to get a bunch of entrainments from the guy who created them! All I can say is that it was one of the watershed weekends of my life. If you were in the office in the last 2 weeks, you can feel the difference. I will never be able to describe my experiences on a blog – what I can say is that I experienced just about everything my soul could have desired to experience and know in my lifetime. Yes, it was that profound. I am forever grateful.
I came home, nuzzled up with Lynn, and we rocked out awesome work at Network Wellness Center of Charlotte. I prepared to go for my Second Ritual: to be with another guy who I love and who is another model of authentic masculine strength, love and presence. Tony Robbins is likely one of the most authentic and embodied agents of real change I have ever met. Many people talk, they write, and they talk more – Tony delivers. It was such an incredible joy to be at his program – right up front – soaking in the great vibes, making some amazing friends, building authentic community, and making some massive breakthroughs of my own. Like the event with Donny, my time with Tony was another massive watershed in my life. I thought I knew what that weekend was going to be like. It cracked my head and heart open and it felt GREAT.
At both events there was a series of crazy, wild, and incredible serendipity and coincidence that was simply mind-blowing. Its like getting a big kiss from the Divine letting you know, “You are on the right track, kid.”
So here are some gems from the last month that I want to share with you and then I’ll tell you about walking on fire:
Change happens NOW. It is never a “process”. We make a change NOW. Process is an illusion. It takes time to condition change so that it becomes our center of gravity, our true north. It takes time to make change and new perspectives a permanent habit. However, change is a decision and it happens NOW. You can have all the beliefs in the world, yet change requires choice, action, and decision. All change is a matter of energy. In a lower energy state, we have a hard time making and sustaining change. In a high energy state, we can change and transform anything. All of us have energy – and LOTS of it – most people just don’t know how to condition themselves to access it anytime. When we know how to access the fuel, we can start a fire. Because of stress, trauma, and our past conditioning, for many of us its not safe to find that energy. We learned to survive and get by and in so doing settled for scraps rather than the 5 star buffet the Universe has in store for us. That buffet, by the way, has NOTHING to do with circumstance, and everything to do with our story of life and the focus we take. I’ll say it again – change happens NOW. Its a courageous choice NOW. We don’t need a different past to make the courageous choice now. Then, over time, like a spiritual athlete, we condition our new mindset as our new reality through practice.
It all comes down to three things: Our internal physiology (our internal energy) + Our focus (where we direct our attention and our efforts) + Meaning/language (the story we create about things). When these things are on, when they are congruent you are on FIRE! Truly, there is nothing one cannot overcome with integrity and congruence and clarity of intention. The best part is that is not circumstance dependent. It is willingness and heart and soul dependent. That is a big difference.
I’ll illustrate this with my story of walking on 2200 degree coals with Tony Robbins. It was AWESOME and its a pretty big deal. You are about to walk on burning coals that are almost 4 times the temperature of your stovetop at its hottest. For three plus hours Tony worked with us so we could get into the PHYSIOLOGY of total connection, high energy, positivity, and radical strength. We could call this a “peak state”. A peak state is that internal state where everything is possible, where we are fountains of creativity, and we are loaded with energy. It is the ultimate state of love for self and others. It is the state all of the great athletes, performers, martial artists, and healers know. It is that place within where nothing is impossible. In this state, healing and growth is truly possible. Its also the state where we learn to cultivate authentic happiness. We built some serious energy and some serious peak state experiences. Just when I thought I couldn’t take any more, we would do it again. And again. It was awesome to feel how much we are capable of. I have completed an Ironoman Triathlon and practiced martial arts for years. I can honestly say that this was even beyond all of that – by far! Think of a time when you felt totally alive. What was your physiology? Think of a time you felt totally happy. What was your physiology? Think of a time when you were engrossed in something you love. What was your physiology? Its in you, I promise. Like I said earlier, its just the art of learning to access it in the right way at the right time and change is effortless.
Then we got clear on our FOCUS – the focus was not the burning coals beneath our feet, the focus was the other side. The focus was not our fear, the focus was our courage and laser attention to staying in this peak state. The focus was not on what could go wrong, the focus was on the celebration at the other side. Think of a time when you were totally successful in your life. Where was your focus? Think of a time when you felt amazing. Where was your focus? Think of a time when you felt totally empowered. Where was your focus? Think of a time when you felt lonely or depressed. Where was your focus? Focus is a massive ingredient in life. Without it there is no forward progress. To get across that fire and not get seriously burned, we had to create an absolutely unshakeable focus. I went in very cocky about the firewalk. The more I learned about it the more scared I got. I had two options: wimp out and not do it or get in the zone, set my focus, and get the job done. Giving up is not an option for me, so I rocked out some serious focus. My focus was on getting to the other side, my focus was on the celebration at the end, and my focus was on holding the space so others could have strength to lean on when they freaked out. My focus was like a laser.
Next, we set the MEANING. The meaning of this was not to walk across fire, the meaning was on the metaphor this had for our lives. This was about smashing any limiting beliefs so we could rise to the occasion and show what our souls were made of. It was a metaphor that no matter what shows up in our life we can transcend circumstance and overcome. We intended to create massive energy as a community and literally set the world on fire with love and giving. The fire walk was simply a rite of passage – a ritual that would show us that if we could walk across 2200 degree coals then most other things in life are put into their right size. The meaning, the great philosophy, was that we were doing those not to get a rush of a peak state, or to simply get some novelty, we were doing this to push ourselves to grow and to embody our soul’s destiny. I was doing it for my unborn child. I was doing it for my wife. I was doing it for all of you. I was doing it for my dad who saw two combat tours in Vietnam. I was doing it for my grandfather who lost his courage and committed suicide. I was doing it to see just how far I am willing to go to wake up, just how far we can go as humans to make the world a better place. I know how far we can go to make the world a scary place, but how far are we willing to stretch past our comfort zone to bring healing and new life? My meaning was HUGE.
Physiology + Focus + Meaning = Unlimited Energy for Change
I rocked out that fire walk with everything inside of me. With about 4,500 other people I showed up, stepped up, and delivered. It was one of the greatest experience of my life. Clarity of intention is simply the sum of Physiology + Focus + Meaning. With clarity of intention, its ALL possible – healing, weight loss, spiritual awakening, renewed passion in your marriage, real forgiveness, tremendous fun, lasting happiness, unlimited vitality, shedding crappy habits, financial abundance, trust, self-esteem – you name it. If you can dream it, it is possible with these ingredients.
My daddy rites of passage are almost complete – I spend tomorrow with my best guy friends rocking out the last stage – they have created a ritual and celebration to bring in the masculine strength for me to step up as a dad. I know it will be amazing.
Thank you all for being a part of my dream for a happier, healthier, and more evolved humanity. Its my honor to serve you on any level. If you have not been in for a while, come in and get reconnected, to the inner fire of your heart – that fire that consumes whatever stress is holding you back. If you have never been to see me, this is a great time to step up your commitment to your life and set up an initial consultation. Right now we have about a 2 month waiting list and it is growing fast, so if its been on your mind, then go for it. We anticipate a 4 month waiting list by next year, so now is the time! I will be leading another killer retreat here in Charlotte, NC March 23-24 with Dr. Susan Breitbach. It is filling fast and will be completely filled within a week or two – so let us know if you would like to attend. Our April 18-21 Jamaica Retreat is available for lottery slots only – if you’d like to try and get a lottery slot, let us know as well be finalizing our list in the next two weeks. Our “MEETUP group” is also going to be changing and morphing into a “Wisdom Academy” of sorts in 2013. Lots of exciting things to light you on fire. Just let us know how to support you.
Dr. Matt Lyon, DC